May 21: New Direction

It's recently come to my attention (from the thoughts I've been kicking around and from other places that I've been reading about making comics) that if I don't really enjoy doing what I'm doing in terms of my drawing then I should stop. If I don't like working on a project, or on a certain book, then that dislike and disinterest is eventually going to show up in said project, either in crappy, uninspired work, or in half-assed craftsmanship. Suffice it to say that I don't want this to happen, so I've decided to take a break from the comic book.

FUCK! I hate doing that! I feel like such a quitter!

Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest. In any case, I've put the book on hold for a bit, with full intentions to at some point in the near future return to it. So what I'm doing now is focusing on drawing what I want to draw. More sketches for fun, more mini comics, whatever. I might even revisit the Last Resort script and try and make it a lot better. But I don't know.

I don't know why I feel so rushed to do this. Why is it so important that I bust my ass on this instead of on other projects? Whatever the reasons are, I dont' think they're the right reasons. The top two at the moment are 1) getting rich and 2) getting famous; both of which, let's be honest, never really happen to anyone who goes into comics. Bottom line, I'm not in it to tell a story and I'm not in it for the sake of expressing myself. Those should be my motivations, but they're not. It's my opinion that an artist does his or her best work when he or she doesn't give a fuck about what people think about it. And I need to get to that place.

So, for now, I'm not drawing to get published or to get noticed. I'm doing it because it's what I love to do, and I'm trying really hard to be satisfied in that fact alone. So if you're wondering how the book's going, that's how it's going. It's a tough thing to admit, but it's honest.

Later