December 30: I promised myself I wouldn't do this

Tomorrow is New Years' Eve. Which means that the day after tomorrow is the official start of a new year. What does that mean for me? Well, nothing really. Actually, that's not true, it does mean one thing: as someone who actively operates and contributes content to a journal web site, I feel an enormous temptation to fall into one of the biggest and most annoying cliches of modern pop culture:

The "Year-End Wrap-Up"

It makes my skin crawl at just the sight of the word. Every year, we as a populace are forced to sit through list after list of the Greatest YouTube videos or the Greatest Pictures of Craaaazy Houses or the Greatest Sports Moments of 2000-whenever. And I won't do that to you. I value you as a reader and I will not put you through that. All I will say is that in a matter of hours we will, as a planet, officially replace the last number of the year with its next sequentially higher number; this will be done to more accurately record our history, be taxed by our governments, and create more year-end wrap-up lists. Whoop-de-shit.

And even though I've attempted to be as terse as possible in my description of Y2K8, I feel as if I've overdone it. And I apologize with heartfelt sincerity.

Sooo, to replace the urges I have to scour the internet for stupid regurgitated bullshit to show you, I'll give you something original that has nothing to do with what happens a day or two from now.

Dear Internet, I hate you

Do you enjoy using the Internet? Of course you do! We all do! How else do you think it got to be so popular unless it gave us so much great stuff? With the Internet, I can look up who directed the first Die Hard (Josh McTiernan), read a review of the latest version of Photoshop (it rocks), or share my sketches and doodles with you, the viewing public! Hell, did you know you can even find naked ladies on the Internet? It's true!

What else can you do with the Internet? Well, you can go to a site like MySpace or Livejournal and post self-shot pictures taken with your digital camera from wacky, obscure angles! Go ahead, reach up as high as you can, point the camera down at yourself, and SNAP! Look at that, it totally shows off your boobs AND your ass at the same time! Or, if showing off your naughty bits isn't your thing, you can always start a weblog (or as the kids call it, a 'blog') and write down your innermost thoughts about anything you want: your kids, your job, your car, whatever! As long as it's something intellectually stimulating or thought provoking--just kidding! Nobody gives a shit what you write about, just as long as you write something!

Cripes.

I use an application on the Firefox web browser called StumbleUpon. If you don't know what it does, it's an application that allows you to browse random sites on the internet (rather, "stumble upon" them), all categorized into topics by millions of other StumbleUpon users. All you have to do is tell the application what topics interest you, click a little button on the toolbar that says "Stumble!" and off you go to any number of sites that fall into your selected areas of interest. I'll sometimes use StumbleUpon if I'm bored on the Internet, but can't seem to manage to pry myself from my keyboard. It's a good time killer, and it usually takes me to some pretty interesting places on the web that I would have probably never found unless I installed a program on my browser that would find said websites for me. For the most part it's a pretty nifty device for surfing the Internet if you don't have anywhere specific you want to go.

If you use StumbleUpon as much as I do, however, you'll start to develop a strong hatred for the Internet, much like I have developed already; because after a while:

You realize that you've just stumbled upon the 20th website in an hour with the same unfunny YouTube video of someone's reaction to "2 Girls 1 Cup" embedded in their weblog.

Or yet another bevy of photos of truly marvelous and awe-inspiring landscapes you never knew existed on this planet, only to realize after dozens of times looking at it that the photo has clearly been photoshopped to make said landscape appear much more marvelous than it really is.

OR you'll see dozens of pictures of wacky, crazy advertisements from Europe, eventually coming to the conclusion that it is not the "wacky" advertisement ITSELF that sells the product it advertises so "wackily," but it's the viral image that's spread itself over the Internet like AIDS through Africa that actually sells the product. Ads for ads ad infinitum.

OOORRR you'll encounter one more list of 87 ways to melt your lovers' heart with some sappy pseudo-romantic bullshit that makes you want to swear off women for the rest of your life.

DAMMIT, INTERNET, THIS IS THE HUNDREDTH TIME I'VE SEEN THE TOP 50 CRAZIEST JAPANESE INVENTIONS! "NO MORE LIKE THIS"!

Now you're probably thinking, "Then quit using that program you stupid jerk! If you hate it so much, just don't do it!" First: Yeah, maybe I will, and Second: Screw you, I'll do what I want!

I probably wouldn't hate the Internet so much if I didn't have a sketchblog. If I weren't a part of the online community (a miniscule fraction of a part, but a part, regardless) I could just say "Man, the Internet is crazy and stupid, am I right?" But because I have a blog, thus making me a Part of the proverbial Problem, I feel like I need to answer for it somehow. Trouble is, I don't know how to go about answering for it.

Instead, I try to do better. The Internet is probably the clearest modern illustration of the fact that there is nothing new under the sun. Browse the Internet long enough and you'll quickly realize that it really has all been done, and done ad nauseam. So, the only thing I can do is try to not be just another blog of stupid viral videos or pictures of kittens with funny captions pulled off other websites. I can also try and not take myself as seriously as some other bloggers out there and to put out content that's as interesting as I can make it, as well. I'm not sure if I've done that so well in the past, but I hope to do it better in the future. I hate to become a cliche, but if I have a plan for the New Year, as far as this site is concerned, that would sum it up pretty well.

Dammit! I promised myself I wouldn't make this about the new year. Sorry.

Something I just realized

The post I made earlier today is the 16th post this month, which is as many posts as the last five months combined. That's pretty sad, 16 posts in five months...

[EDIT: correction, that's 16 posts in SIX months; I didn't post at all in November. AT ALL. What the hell is wrong with me?]

December 28: Sneak Preview

This is a small preview of something I've been working on for about a month now. I'll explain more about what it's for when I post the finished piece, but this is a tiny preview of it for now. Hope you guys like.



It's more of a design piece than an illustration, so don't think that I drew that. It's actually a whole bunch of things I did to make this, and I'll go into later. But that's all for now; the final piece is probably a couple weeks away, so I might put up another preview between then and now, but just keep it in the back of your mind that there will be more of this in the new year.

Later

More color explosions

I pulled a random image off the internet today, just messing around with it in photoshop, and then just started drawing over it. I'm on a really weird "bright colors" kick, so if I can scribble neon green on something I'm okay with it at this point. Just getting it all out of my system, I guess, and maybe trying to figure out something to do with it in the future. Anyway, here's what I came up with.



I've also been up for about 19 hours straight (looks at clock, 11:18 am--do the math, I got out of bed at 4 in the afternoon yesterday, so I'm trying to force my internal clock back to normal by just staying up all day) so my brain's going to weird places. That might explain this post...Okay, that's all for now. Later

December 27: Officially Lowbrow

I got a new scanner for x-mas, so this is the first thing I drew that I scanned with it. I don't know what to make of it; what do you think?

Linked for Mature Content(language)

At least it's colorful.

December 25: Crimmus-tyme!

Merry Christmas, you old so-and-so's! Here's a crappy five minute doodle I made as a gift to you, from all of us here at Kenny Chapman: sketchblerg--my accountant Liz, Russell in logistics and marketing, the whole development team (I couldn't have done it without you guys, but not too much egg nog this time around, okay, Lester? I don't want to give you another week of sick leave!!!!!! Right?!?!)



Oh, we have fun...have a good Christmas everyone!

Ethical Dilemma: Poll Smoking

Before I head off, I've decided to put up a little opinion poll over on the right side of the page, right under my picture. I'd appreciate it if you took two seconds and voted on it. But before you do, read on for the full story:

One of my smoker friends bought a pack of Camels the other day that came in one of their new "art packs". Apparently Camel has opened their marketing doors to a variety of different artists lending their talents to the package design of Camel cigarettes. Anyway, on the package there was a little advertisement to submit your own pack designs, so my friend told me I should give it a shot. And to be honest I'm sort of having an ethical dilemma over this.

I think people always ask themself questions like this when they decide to pursue some sort of creative field that lends itself to mass communication; questions that ask if he'd help create things that help sell products that promote things he has some moral objections to, or to a product that leads to the death of hundreds of thousands of people every year, in this case. I'm not a smoker, and to be blunt I happen to think it's a pretty retarded habit to pick up, but on the other side of the coin I respect a person's right to choose to smoke addictive and harmful materials, and to enjoy them to their fullest. So is it wrong to create a simple illustration to go on a pack of cigarettes (that might kill someone, but will no doubt be sold, art pack or not), in an attempt to further one's career as an artist? Is that what they mean when they say "selling out"?

I dunno, I'm a little stumped on this one. Granted, the point may very well become moot because there's a very high likelihood that something I draw won't get picked to go on a pack of cigarettes, even if I did decide to give it a shot. But it's a question worth asking, hypothetical or not. Later (for real this time)

December 22: Vacation

Hey folks, sorry I haven't really been posting much recently. I haven't really been very satisfied with the stuff I've been coming up with with my wacom (which is currently the only media by which I can draw anything that I can get onto my computer and then onto this blog), and have been, in a weird place with art in general; I hope that you'll excuse me from posting any new drawings this last week.

Anyway, I'm heading off to Atlanta tomorrow to spend Christmas with my parents at home. In my bag I'm taking with me are:
-my sketchbook
-pens
-wacom tablet
-an art project I'm working on in my spare time
-about a dozen DVDs
-and two books

So I'll have plenty of things to read, watch, work on, and draw with. I hope to pull something noteworthy out of that list to post here, but it probably won't be until sometime after the 25th. Keep checking because I'm not dead and I'll come up with something.

Okay, I'm going to go now. I need to hit the hay so I can drive tomorrow. But before I sign off I'll leave you with some words of encouragement that have been keeping my spirits up (or at least keeping things in perspective). It's something artist and blogger Von Allan wrote on his blog. Enjoy:

"It takes courage to do art. To have the courage of your conviction and do art when perhaps no one else believes in you. When it comes to art, that’s the only talent there is. The courage to overcome. By conflating populism with artistic merit (or Talent or whatever word you choose to use), you are undermining the inherent nature of what art is. There is nothing God-given about[the ability to do art well] at all. There is the work. And there is courage to do the work."

See you guys later. Happy Holidays

December 16: The Final Product

No gallery openings anytime soon, but hey, having a t-shirt you design printed for the cool record store downtown ain't too bad either, right? Yeah, not too shabby.

So the shirt I designed for CD Central finally got printed this week, so today I made the trip downtown to pick up my shirts and a gift card I won from the contest. And I gotta say, the shirts look pretty slick. To be honest, though, it still hasn't quite hit me that a shirt I was drawing two months ago is now on sale somewhere...people might actually pay money to wear something I made. I can't imagine who these people might be, but it's fun to imagine that they're out there. Anyway, here are a couple pictures of the shirts:





Pretty awesome, right? They're selling for about 9 bucks each, so if you like them go buy a couple. Later

December 13: Vent

I don't know if it's just me, or if this is something that every artist goes through, but every now and then I can do nothing but loathe the stuff I draw. I look at my scribbles on the page or the screen in front of me, and then I look at what other artists out there are doing. And the same way a 13-year-old girl looks at the pages of a fashion magazine, I cannot help but compare myself to what I see in front of me. This is usually followed by frustration, sometimes by anger. I get mad that my shit doesn't look like their shit, and that they're admired and respected and I'm not. I get mad that I don't know how to do the things with their work that they do. I get mad that I don't have a gallery opening in Tokyo or an art book coming out at an exclusive party in Los Angeles. Upset, hopeless, frustrated, angry. That's how the cycle goes.

I'm glad, though, that this doesn't happen to me all the time. There are times when I see myself as only a step or two away from an epiphany of some sort, at which time I'll hit that proverbial ten-thousandth bad drawing necessary before all the really good drawings. I sit back and admire the thing I created out of nothing and feel good that my efforts have produced good fruit. Unfortunately it's not that time for me right now. So what I'm doing is writing about this, on a blog that I'm almost positive nobody reads, trying to make myself feel better about my lack of ability, about my lack of discipline, about by bank account, the list goes on.

[It's funny, and this just occurred to me, that when I'm mad I'm mad that I'm not at the top of my career, but when I'm feeling good I'm happy that I almost have a career; not happy that I'm almost famous but that I might almost have any career at all, even if it's just as an up-and-coming artist. That seems a little weird to me for some reason.]

I often wonder if all this hard work will ever get me anywhere professionally. I hope it does, and that's what I keep telling myself, that I'm doing it because I love to do it and that I wouldn't be happy with my life (at all) if I weren't drawing. And it'd be really nice to one day be drawing professionally... ah, who am I kidding, I'd piss myself ten times over to know that I'd someday be drawing for a living.

So I'm posting this just to vent a little bit and get this out of my system. Thankfully it's helping. More sketches coming soon. Until then....

December 13

December 11: Cyclops

Not much to say about this. Cyclops from the X-Men in the original '60s era costume.

December 10: Artist's Block

I wish I knew how to explain how last week I couldn't run out of ideas of things to draw, but now, after two days of not drawing, I've got nothing when I sit down at my laptop. Last week I'd draw my stuff for the day, and by the time I went to bed I had an idea for what I'd draw the next day. You'd think ideas would sort of "pile up" after not drawing for a couple days. Unfortunately that's not the case. I hate that. But instead of doing nothing, I did something random and drew squiggly lines for an hour or two. At least it's something, right? So here's what I came up with for today:



Are your eyes bleeding yet? Good. Even though this was sort of a last resort sketch, I still like how it turned out. It gave me a chance to mess around with typography and play around with something a bit more design oriented (as opposed to just a sketch). Feel free to leave a comment or two of what you think.

December 7

Sorry for no sketches yesterday. Some douchebag building a privacy fence next door cut our phone line, thus disconnecting our internet. Anyway, it's fixed now. So to make up for it I'm posting two sketches. Hope you guys like:



Hands! And fabric folds...



Seriously. I tried really hard and couldn't figure out the perspective. Blerg.

That's all for now, later!

December 5: Kung Fu

Sorry the sketch is a bit late today, I got caught up in 1408 and Live Free or Die Hard. Anyway, I've been drawing a lot of hands lately, and I felt like putting them in a cool action pose or whatever. So then I just drew in the kung fu guy in the background for fun. Hope you guys dig:



Okay, that's all for now. Later!

December 4

I'm on a weird skull n' bones kick. Here are today's sketches:



Here's a bigger version of the skull from the first drawing:



That's all for now, check back tomorrow for more sketches. Later!

Dec 3: Two in one day?! WHAAAAAA?

I guess this counts as a sketch, even though it was drawn over a photo (how wouldn't that count as a sketch, I drew something) Anyway, I was playing around in Photo Booth today, takin pitchers of myself and whatnot, and got the notion to draw a little over it. Here's what I came up with:

December 3: Daily Sketching

I'm trying to make better use of my time not working by drawing more. Here's a sketch from today: